Finding Solace When Life Has Other Plans

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in Happiness,Money,Personal Growth

The other morning I woke up feeling that I had lost my way. I found myself in a place where circumstances had conspired to send me. A place that I had not planned to go and my purpose there as yet unknown. I had arrived but…

What was I doing there?

Let me begin at the beginning of this particular journey.

If you’ve been with me for a while, you’ll know that about a year ago I started helping a college president with strategic planning. It was a perfect part-time gig that allowed me to freely pursue all of my multitudes.

Then things changed.

I arrived at work ready for a regularly scheduled meeting with the president. He was late. It was very unlike him. Phone calls were made, and yet more phone calls, until we finally reached someone at his home. It turned out that he was never going to make the meeting.

He had died the previous day.

Then things really changed.

I was asked if I’d like to be considered for the position of interim president. Stepping into this particular possibility was fraught with unknowns. While the process unfolded, there wasn’t much time left for me and my multitudes. I stopped writing. I stopped connecting with my online community. I stopped thinking of new things to do and try.

Then things changed again.

An interim president was selected – and, it wasn’t me. Which turned out to be wonderfully OK. The new president asked me to come on board full-time to work on a few more initiatives. So I did.

Which is how I found myself at the unknown destination.

A place where I did not intend to be but am.

A place that makes me wonder what life has in store.

A place that affords me many things but brings with it choices about how I spend my time as well as who and what I have energy for.

But let’s go back to the beginning of this conversation. Back to the morning where I found myself feeling like I had lost my way.

On this particular morning, I was able to bring my daughter to school which isn’t often the case. As I was leaving the school grounds, I saw a visually-impaired man standing on the side of the road with his two children. He was shouting – to anyone who might hear – “Someone please help me!” He needed to get his children across the road. He could not find his way.

Wisely, he asked for help.

As I guided his children across the road, I thought to myself:

When you can’t see where you need to go and you feel lost, perhaps the best thing to do is to ask for help.

So I did.

I called a friend and told her my tale of woe and how I felt I had lost my way. When I had run out of words (and whines), she asked me, “What is nourishing you right now?”

It was just the right question. Answering it brought me back to the present moment. In the present moment, I could not worry or wonder about why things had turned out the way they did or what steps I needed to take next.

It reminded me that the path is just the path. And that I wasn’t lost at all. I was right here – in the right place – for right now.

And perhaps, so are you.

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Glad to be with you again and am looking forward to reconnecting!

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Why Drawing on Your Brain is a Must-Do for Popping Your Dreams into Living Color

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in Creativity,Happiness,Personal Growth

Dreams and desires. They make your heart beat faster and cause your spirits to soar. They give you pleasure as you imagine yourself already living in the “what-if.” Pure bliss.

Dreams and desires. You love them.

Dreams and desires. You’d give anything to make them real … if only you knew the what and the how. The tension between the longing and the desired outcome makes you weep with frustration, shake your fists in the air, and wonder, “why can’t I have what I see in my mind’s eye?” Pure torture.

Dreams and desires. You hate them.

But you don’t have to.

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of meeting with Patti Dobrowolski who has written a book called Drawing Solutions: How Visual Goal Setting Will Change Your Life. I’ve read it. It’s fabulous – especially if you are looking for a new way to tap your dreams and make them real. (Please note this is an affiliate link. If you decide to buy the book through my site, I may get a bit of cash. You can also go directly to Amazon or Patti’s site, if you wish.)

Patti’s premise for the book, and her work, is based on brain science:

Drawing your dreams and desires puts the brain’s editing function on pause thereby allowing it (you) to more fully see what’s possible for yourself.

I admit, at first, I didn’t want to try to draw my dreams because … well, I can’t really draw. Stick figures are about the extent of my repertoire. However, I got over myself, grabbed my daughter’s colored pencils, and just started.

The results were amazing. Things I hadn’t consciously given voice to popped out on paper. And, when I was finished, the whole thing was there – in living color – and it was so cool.

I fell in love with my dreams and desires all over again.

To get a taste of what Patti’s talking about check, out her TEDx talk below. Then get busy … your dreams and desires are waiting.

 

 

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Saddle Up

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in Creativity,Happiness,Personal Growth

When I was a child, after much begging and pleading, I became the proud owner of a coal black Shetland pony. From a distance, he looked darling – all woolly and cuddly – and seemed worthy of the name he came with when we bought him, Black Beauty.

He was all sweetness and light until you put a saddle on him. That’s when I learned he really should have been named Black Beastie. His favorite trick was to stand docilely until you were firmly seated in the saddle. Then he took the bit in his mouth and raced towards the nearest tree where he headed for a low hanging branch and scraped you off like an unwanted barnacle.

This first time it happened I was scared to death. He was the first pony I had ever owned and I hadn’t had any riding lessons so I didn’t know what to do other than hang on for dear life. When I hit the ground after having been struck in the stomach by the branch, not only was I in pain and gasping for breath, I was pretty sure I was never getting on that pony again.

To hell with riding. To hell with horses. To hell with my dreams of becoming an accomplished horsewoman.

No way was I getting back in that saddle again.

I was embarrassed. Other more experienced riders had seen me take that fall. I was hurt. My stomach was throbbing. I was afraid of that little black pony.

To this day, I don’t know what made me put my foot in the stirrup and get back on. Perhaps it was the mocking “I got you!” look in his eye that called to my competitive spirit. I don’t know. All I know is that even though I was shaking with fear, I got back in the saddle – somehow.

Black Beauty and I repeated the “under the tree” exercise several more times. It was terrifying. It hurt. I was covered in dirt and my skin was scratched. But I finally figured out what I needed to do in order to keep the bit out of his mouth and prevent him from racing towards the nearest tree. Once I did, he behaved like a perfect gentleman. When we locked eyes again, his look could only be described as disappointed. His fun was over and mine had just begun.

I often think of what might have happened if I hadn’t gotten back on that little pony. If I had let embarrassment rule my actions. If I had given into the pain. If I had let my fear take over.

I would have missed hours of fun riding with my friends. I would have never gotten my next horse (a gentle, sweet-tempered mare). I would have never experienced camping in the mountains with my horse, picking up a cheeseburger at the McDonald’s drive-through on horseback, or swimming with my horse in Puget Sound.

I would have missed those things I could imagine and the even greater things awaiting me that I could never have imagined.

That is what happens when you give up on your dreams.

We all have bumps and spills as we pursue our dreams. Things that hurt us, knock the wind out of us, or embarrass us to the core as we fumble our way imperfectly forward. We encounter things that cause us to doubt the wisdom of our desires. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t get back in the saddle again.

If you want to experience all that you can imagine (and all that you can’t), you simply must put your foot in the stirrup.

In many ways, this post is my saddle. For some months now, I haven’t known what to write or what I wanted to share. The ideas didn’t come. The words didn’t appear. So, I stopped writing altogether.

I was close to giving up on my dream of writing.

But I sat down in front of the computer one more time. And, what happened? Words appeared.

Thank you, Black Beauty.

My advice? Don’t give up on yourself and your dreams.

If you get hit in the gut by a low-hanging branch, dust yourself off and take a deep breath. Ask your fear and pain to step aside. Tell them you’ve got places to go. Put your foot back in the stirrup. From there, it’s a short swing into the saddle and you’ll be off again – headed towards your dreams.

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Unique is Beautiful – A Guest Post from Tanya Geisler

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in Happiness,Personal Growth

Although I had never spoken to Tanya before meeting her, the moment I stepped into her presence, one word came to mind:  embrace. Tanya embraces you wholeheartedly with her warmth and authenticity. She is bold. She is gentle. She is vulnerable. She is strong. She is wonderfully unique … which is probably why “being unique is beautiful” called to her from my manifesto. I am grateful to have her on stage today!

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On the walk up from the lake this morning, my thoughts elsewhere, I stepped on a tree frog. He was minuscule in size, no bigger than my thumbnail.

Immediately, the oh-so-familiar tears sprung up. For the untimely end of this little life. For the family that I imagined awaiting his happy hoppy return. For my senseless carelessness.

Buck up, hissed a voice deep inside. It’s a FROG for the love of Christ. You’re an overly sensitive fool who wastes her emotions on trivialities like tree frogs.

Oh yes. I am too sensitive. I’ve been charged with that my whole life. These tears have made me the target of bullies, teasing and torment. Yielding more tears.  Always, more tears.

Yet show me an injustice, mess with my people, or make an ignorant slur, and you’ve never seen a fiercer, more stone-cold Mama Bear than me.

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Your very presence on this earth is a miracle.

Whether you believe that miracle began with His decision on the sixth day, or with a big bang, you being here is kind of a grade-A biggie.

Following generations upon generations upon generations of choices, a sperm and an egg fought their way towards each other for one sole purpose: YOU. And here you are: a big, beautiful bundle of water and carbon and synapses and chromosomes and destiny.

Beyond the purely biological, your values are the building blocks of your personal choices and your strengths hold the blueprint of what’s possible.

You are a hot mess of gorgeous contradictions.

Every one more intricate the last. And our special stew of contradictions is the very thing that makes us gorgeously unique.

You know who disdains contradictions and uniqueness? The same little voice that hissed at me in the garden today: the Lizard Brain. It is purposeful and protective, slothful and selfish. It doesn’t give a whit about your beauty, your art, your soul. It cares only about sex, safety, revenge and survival. It wants you to wear beige so that you don’t ever, EVER stand out.

But I want you to wear your brilliance on your sleeve. And so should you.

I am sensitive, and yet I am fierce.
I adore fine cheese, and yet Cheez Whiz makes my day.
I dig the hot political funk of Rage Against the Machine, and yet the hot pink disco of ABBA.
I relish the softness of cotton undies, and yet frothy French lingerie makes be deliriously happy.
I am hilarious, and goofy, and yet wise, wise, wise.

Yes. I feel great sadness, and yet I have an extreme capacity for joy.

The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keep out the joy. – Jim Rohn

Here’s what I want for you.

I want you to know when the lizard brain is lulling you to be less, not more. I want you to doff the beige and don the blazing orange your heart deeply desires. I want you to take your AND YETS, your contradictions and raise them on the flag. I want you to charge ahead, loving what you are: the product of miracles. Wholly unique. Wholly beautiful. Wholly you. Magnificent in every single way.

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Tanya Geisler is a certified business and life coach who simply cannot and will not shake her indomitable belief that if everyone knew and lived their values, they’d hold the key to shining in their life, in their work and in their life’s work. (Now, wouldn’t THAT make for a far more joyous world?) A catalyst, not a therapist, she wrote The Joy Pages, created Board of Your Life, and speaks with great passion on all things joy, meaning and purpose.

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I Can – A Guest Post from Jackie Walker

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in Happiness,Personal Growth

Jackie is one of those people whose insights pierce to the heart of the matter. I have enjoyed her wisdom in writing and in precious conversations that are over all too soon. Her laughter has the ability to fill me with lightheartedness. When I asked my friends to write about a phrase from my manifesto, she quickly chose “you can do it.” No wonder, since that is the way she lives her life. As can you.

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I Can

My Dad was dying,
I watched him crying –
‘what was it worth
- my time on earth?’

‘I’ll tell you’ I said,
Waiting for a nod from his head,
‘your love and respect,
your lack of regret.

Many will say
In the cold light of day
I loved that great man
Who taught me ‘I can’

Compassion and laughter
Were things that did matter
To a life once led
Outside the confines of bed

For all the odd grumbles
And occasional tumbles
You always stood true
To your family and crew

As one voice we unite
To support your big fight
Move on with our blessing
And stop your distressing

This time is for you
One day we’ll come too
For now our dear man
We’ll remember ‘I can’

Jackie Roberts, 2006

And, this is how it happened. Just two weeks before his unknown departure date, my father had asked me, “What was my life for Jack?”

I’d never written poetry before, and have only done so a couple of times since. But, I did.

I hadn’t really spoken in public before, and I read this at his funeral. I said to the minister, “I can’t do it.” He smiled, benevolently, in the way ministers do, and reminded me the piece was called “I Can.” I did.

Some people rarely give a thought to what they can or cannot do or achieve. Obstacles simply don’t cross their minds, or paths. For others though, the obstacles range from the irritable, like sand in your shoe to the unnavigable, like, hmmm, I don’t actually know what they’re like! If you take a look at the fabulous post Cigdem Kobu shared here on this very same subject, you will find many of those seemingly unnavigable areas being navigated. They did.

In truth, as long as you are still breathing you can navigate your life.

It’s always fascinated me that we are only ever given what we can deal with. The reason for this is that we created it in the first place and anything we can create, we can obviously un-create. You can.

We can strip a problem down to its component parts and put it back together differently, creating something brand new. There’s no rule which says you must use each of the parts; this is the opportunity to leave out those worn, spoiled or harmful bits. Yes, you can.

As we navigate our lives, we get to meet so many interesting people – you do notice them don’t you? They may be on the train beside you, on Facebook or Twitter, or even sitting across the table from you – look up, look out, get to know them! They’re in our lives so we know we’re not alone. There is no need for you to be them; all you need to know is that someone else has done it. So that you can.

When we’re faced with things which are so outside our field of knowledge or experience, it’s easy to panic, or pronounce “I can’t.” We might feel that things are out of control. “Things” are fine. This is the time for you to be in control, of yourself, your emotions, feelings, thoughts and actions. Just breathe, slowly. And you can do it.

The biggest tip I can give for those learning to navigate from ‘I cannot’ and ‘I can’ is this:

From wherever you are standing right now, even though it doesn’t feel like it, there is a time delay between here and there. The gap in what you think you know and have experienced and what you think you need to know and have experienced closes as quickly as is necessary.

Trust me! You can. I did!

**********************

Jackie lives in the beautiful Scottish countryside which gives her much food for thought! She loves observing herself and others to find the patterns which make people tick. Currently she’s working on The Mothering Revolution, a project which addresses how to unblock any stuck mothering love.

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PLAY: A Guest Post from Lianne Raymond

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in Happiness,Personal Growth

One of the things I believe in most is the value of play in our lives. I met Lianne while “playing” one weekend. Her smile told me that we were both in on the secret – that play really matters. Find out why she knows it’s true and how you can have more of it in your life.

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“Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play.”
-Hereclitus (500 BC)

I just spent a couple weeks with my nephew and niece who are 5 and 4 years old. Such a delight to be around beings whose first imperative when they wake up in the morning is to play.  They didn’t wake us up, or ask for food – nope – the first order of the day was play.  I delighted in lying in bed in the morning and just listening in on their play. “I’ll be a princess and you be a zombie and then we’ll get married.”  Only in play can you get that kind of a perfect match!

We probably need more words for play, but the play I’m discussing is not the type of play that we think of when we think of sports or video games or those horrible group building activities they make us do at corporate trainings.  True play is a completely spontaneous activity that arises when conditions are right. Having said that, it is much more about one’s state of mind than any particular activity.  Play can not be demanded or commanded.

True Play has the following characteristics:

- expressive
- exploratory
- spontaneous
- no agenda
- timeless
- unselfconscious
- deep immersion/pretend /fantasy

Why we need True Play

1. Play is where the self is truly expressed.

It is during play that we nurture our interests, uncover  our core dynamics and work through deep emotions. It is often therapeutic in a way we aren’t even aware of.

“Play is the royal road to childhood happiness and adult brilliance.”
- Joseph Chilton Pearce

2. Play is where creativity most often shows up.

When we let go of outcome based activity our brains are freer to explore all possibilities. (Like Princesses and Zombies getting married.)

“The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect, but by the play instinct.”
- Carl Jung

3. Play is the ground for growth and development.

Play allows us to deepen and develop our sense of agency, practice at life without consequences and learn abut ourselves.

“It is in playing, and only in playing, that the individual child or adult is able to be creative and to use the whole personality, and it is only in being creative that the individual discovers the self.” – D. W. Winnicott

What we need to play

1. Rest – both psychological and physical  – if we are overly anxious or overly tired, the chance for spontaneous play to happen is slight.

2. Freedom – from the need to produce, freedom from the work ethic and freedom from outcomes

3. Love – acceptance of who we are unconditionally so we can be fully unselfconscious and not preoccupied with pleasing anyone

Creating the conditions which allow play to happen is often about removing the things that get in the way of our Rest, Freedom and Love.

Impediments to Play

- lack of acceptance
- loss of connection
- shame
- praise
- reward
- defendedness
- desire to please others

I truly believe that the answers to some of our most pressing problems will only be found in play.  I encourage everyone to do what they can to increase the conditions for play for themselves and others in our world.  As our culture stands right now it is a force against play. Be a countercultural force of acceptance and connection to help counteract the shame and defendedness that interfere with play. Let’s be a field where play can bloom. 

Lianne Raymond is a personal coach and teacher who works with women to reconnect with their wild, intuitive selves.  She loves to creat conditions for play and is currently doing just that in a new online course she is offering with Julie Daley.  Find out more about it at WildSoul Book Club.

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It’s Never (Ever) Too Late! – A Guest Post from Sandi Amorim

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in Happiness,Personal Growth

When I was a newbie to Twitter, I started following a woman named Sandi. How I found her, I can’t remember. What I do remember is being astounded by her level of energy and engagement – her tweets were interesting, witty, and rapid-fire. I remember thinking, “I like her.” And, when we finally talked on the phone, I knew those tweets were divinely inspired. I had found a soul sister – one who believes in embracing possibility today, not someday. It’s no wonder the phrase from my manifesto that asks you to remember that it is never too late, spoke to Sandi. Let her words carry you to new places of possibility!

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“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

These words have inspired me many times in my life.

It’s never too late.

For anyone. Or anything.

Well alright, it might be too late for me to become an Olympic athlete.

With one knee surgery, a tendency to klutzy mishaps, and a family predisposition for achy joints, that’s likely never going to happen.

But here’s the thing. . .

A transformation can still occur.

As I lay in bed on the night before my 49th birthday, in the midst of my ‘dark night of the soul not quite mid-life crisis’ I wondered what it would take to cause this transformation in the coming year.

What would it be like to celebrate 50 in the strongest, healthiest, most vibrant version of me ever?

That was a question I’d never asked before. And as I lay there in my bed at 3am I didn’t have the answer. . .but I sure liked how the first glimmer of that vision felt.

Deepak Chopra says, “If we are creating ourselves all the time, then it is never too late to begin creating the bodies we want instead of the ones we mistakenly assume we are stuck with.”

Think about how many aspects of life you have mistakenly assumed you are stuck with.

And what if you’re not stuck at all?

 

Here’s what I realized about this belief that it’s never too late:

 

“It’s never too late – in fiction or in life – to revise.” – Nancy Thayer

We make up stories all the time, key words being make up. And if that’s true, then isn’t it logical to also believe that you can make up a new story that empowers you? Your memories are not as reliable as you’d like to believe, so rather than give your power away due to a faulty memory, create a new story that feels good.

Like the time I broke two fingers playing baseball when I was 12 years old. It wasn’t because I was a lame ball player, it was because I made a desperate lunge for the ball, and that catch saved the game!

  • Think of a story that’s weighed you down in some way. Make up a new version, and have some fun with it!

 

“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” – Tom Robbins

Isn’t it amazing how your inner drama queen thrives on childhood angst?

I’ve always known I had a great childhood, but for a few years I let my drama queen take centre stage and while she was not quite Ophelia, she was pretty tragic at times. As I grew up and became more responsible, I realized how much I had to be grateful for. Perspective is a beautiful thing!

  • Allow your memories of childhood to surface. Then as if you had the remote control in your hand, fast forward through the bits that still hold any emotional charge. Slow down and savour the moments of joy and delight.

 

“The time for action is now. It’s never too late to do something.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

When I was 33 I had knee surgery. Afterwards, the doctor gave me a list of all the activities I’d have to give up. It was a long list that included running and dancing. As you might imagine, I wasn’t happy about this list.

So I got a second opinion and decided to take up running. Crazy you say? Maybe, but I hated being told so definitively that I couldn’t do something. I found a brilliant physical therapist who helped me train slowly and wisely, allowing my body to adjust to the physical challenge. A year later I ran a half marathon, one of the most empowering moments of my life.

That year of training looked like hundreds of small actions, one after another.

  • Start small. Don’t worry about the end result or the big picture. Just start and take the first step.

 

“It’s never too late to give up.” – Myriad Sprite

Before I discovered my calling, I had a few really good jobs. Each time I gave up and left, I trusted the small voice inside that knew there was something more for me. Even though I had no idea what that was, and even though people questioned my decisions, I trusted the voice.

  • You have your own voice. Pay attention because it’s always speaking and there to guide you.

 

“Its never too late to start heading in the right direction.” – Seth Godin

Maybe you’ve gotten lost on the path, and you’re certain that you’ve failed. So what! Or better still, now what?

One step, one action can alter the course of your life. A few days after my birthday I decided to commit to a pretty intense detox. Five weeks later I felt empowered and energized, on the path to the transformation I envisioned that night.

  • You have an area of life that’s just as compelling. It’s time to choose it fully, and completely, without reservation.

“…in the end you are the only one who can make yourself happy. More important, …it is never too late to find out how to do it.” – Ruth Reichl

 

Sandi Amorim is a cage rattling Coach, Instigator and Writer on a mission to obliterate ‘someday’ thinking from the face of the earth. She’s out to wake people up to what’s important in life, and does so with over a decade of training and experience as a Solution Focused Coach and NLP Practitioner. She can be found sharing her slightly mad twist on personal development at Deva Coaching.

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Where are you making masterpieces?

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in Creativity,Happiness,Personal Growth

The other night I went to the local take-and-bake pizza chain to pick up dinner. The place was virtually empty. I was delighted. Nothing was going to stand between me and culinary bliss. I was going to have that pizza in my hot little hands in no time at all.

Lucky me!

Except that didn’t happen.

I stood. I sat on the handy bench. I got up and walked around. I paced back and forth. I could see that a pizza was being made. But perhaps it wasn’t mine? Perhaps a phone order had come in before mine?

Inside I was grumbling. Impatient. What could possibly be taking so long?

I stood in front of the glass window that screened the pizza-making process. The woman behind it was placing items on a pizza. Carefully. With attention.

She noticed me looking at her.

I smiled encouragingly, hoping that would speed things up.

She wrapped up the pizza and said, “You know, yesterday someone asked me if I liked my job. At the time, I said yes. But when I got home, I thought about that question all night long. And do you know what I discovered?”

“No, what?” I asked, wondering what this information possibly had to do with my pizza (which I could see was almost within reach).

“I realized it’s not the job that I like – it’s making the pizza. I love making little masterpieces and knowing that someone will take them home and enjoy them.”

In that moment, my impatience dissolved and I knew I was lucky indeed.

Lucky to be reminded that doing a really good piece of creative work can happen anywhere – in a job, in a business, in a garden, at home in the garage, or simply making pizza.

Lucky to know that putting love and attention into something is what matters the most.

Lucky to see that masterpieces can be made every day.

What’s yours going to be today?

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It’s OK to Love A Multitude of Things & Want to Do Them All – A Guest Post from Lea Woodward

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in Creativity,Happiness,Personal Growth

I first “met” Lea in book where she was listed as a resource for working from anywhere. I immediately put down the book and raced to take a look at her website. As I read through her site, I remember thinking “wow, she’s someone I’d really like to talk to.” And, in the beautiful way the online world works, I have. We’ve had conversations about a multitude of things, both hers and mine, and I’ve discovered that she is indeed a kind and brilliant kindred spirit. I knew she would resonate with the phrase from my manifesto “it’s OK to love a multitude of things & want to do them all.” You will love her practical advice on how to deal with your multitudes!

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Focus. Niche. Specialize. Become known as the “go to” gal for all things…for all things…um, what?

My path to the here and now is littered with so many online projects gone by that there must be a digital graveyard somewhere, full of the sites I’ve built then discarded.

I shouldn’t be surprised. My original career path – as a management consultant – was chosen precisely because I couldn’t pick just one thing to be when I left university. “How on earth am I supposed to know what I want to specialize in, when I haven’t tried any of them yet? This will expose me to a wide range of things from which I can then choose something to specialize in”, I told myself confidently back then.

12 years on and I’m still waiting to find that one single thing to specialize in.

You know the question already, you’ve probably asked yourself the same thing a million times: When you could be good at anything, how do you choose what to actually become good at? To become known for? To become the go to person for?

I don’t have the answers for you. I’m still someone who has 3 websites on the go at the same time (4 if you include the one I help my husband run too). What I do know is that this is the way I’m built. This is how I like to operate. This is me, at my best. And it’s probably you too.

I do have a few thoughts on how to make it work though:

- On how to achieve some focus so you don’t end up too scattered – time- and energy-wise – with a million and one projects on the go at the same time.

- On how to present yourself to the outside world so you don’t confuse people with the multitude of strings to your bow.

- On how to actually achieve something with the projects you do run with so they fly and don’t languish on the back burner for months at a time.

I’ve arrived at these conclusions through a lot of trial and error, through a lot of experimentation, through a lot of frustration and plenty of struggles. And ultimately through getting more things wrong than I have right.

Here are a few things which have worked for me that may help you too:

  • It can help if you can wrap things up within a common theme or mission. Mine, for example, is empowering people to find more freedom in their world. Through education, through travel and through building businesses online. Find a common thread, an over arching mission, and it’ll help guide your decisions of which projects to pursue because they fit, and which ones to drop because they don’t.
  • It can help if you have a home base online – yourname.com – which functions a little bit like your online CV. It’s a home for all the other projects you do and it gives people an insight into you, the entrepreneur behind the multiple successes under your belt. This doesn’t tie you or your name to a specific theme, topic or industry. Use yourname.com for this purpose and you can create as many other websites as you like. ;)
  • It can help if you build your relationships based upon shared core values and common world views, rather than topics, themes, niches or industries. Hobbies, interests and even passions come and go, but values never do. If you share these values and beliefs with your right people, you’ll be together for life.
  • It can help if you not only accept but also embrace and celebrate the way you are, and put it to work for you. For it is WHO you are, as well as HOW you are and it’s HOW you can be the best you ever.

 

Lea Woodward is a mother, wife and serial online entrepreneur. She is the founder of Startup Training School – an online school empowering women with the tech skills to get their business online – and Location Independent to help entrepreneurs and employees work from anywhere. She’s currently on a drive to help 1,000 women get a WordPress website up and running on the same day with a global online event, ONE K in 1 DAY (Join her? It’s free!) and is also on a quest to make the perfect set of cake pops – all tips welcome!

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You Can Do It – A Guest Post from Cigdem Kobu

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in Happiness,Personal Growth

If you are new to the site (and welcome to the many of you who are!), you may not know that I am celebrating the two-year birthday of amultitudeofthings by inviting some of the friends I have made through my travels in the online world to guest post on my site. I have asked them to choose a phrase from my manifesto – the words that guide me in living my life – and write about what that phrase means to them.

Cigdem is one of those friends. She’s a remarkable woman with a talent for bringing other remarkable women together. When I talk with her, she always points me to something I could do or consider. It’s no wonder she chose “you can do it” as the phrase she wanted to write about. Yes, you can do it. Really.

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Author and historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich once said, “Well-behaved women seldom make history.”

She is right. Totally.

It’s only women who go and just do it no matter what that rock the world, change lives, and shift mindsets. They do it against all odds.

You, gutsy woman!

Your primary duty is to actualize your heart’s yearning for it is the mainstay of your existence and bliss. And your intrinsic power to give birth is your most precious treasure. It’s your birthright.

Your circumstances, conditions or resources may appear inadequate.

The people in your life -even those who are the closest- may say you are a dreamer.

All of your bridges may have burned down, and you may have lost all of your fortresses.

You may feel exhausted, deprived or just very, very lonely.

You, gutsy woman, even under such circumstances and conditions, you can do it!

The power you need is present in the ingenious, womanly blood flowing through your veins.

And those pioneers who have already started living their own dreams with love and integrity are shedding light on your path.

Here are some of them:

Desiree Adaway did it. She brought up her children as a single mom, leaving her heart behind at home with her kids every morning as she left to go make a living. At the same time, she built her own business from scratch. Now she helps organizations design programs that create unrestricted revenue and advocates and helps them create momentum.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Jenny Bones did it. One day, Jenny found herself on her way to Detroit to stay with a man she’d only ever known via the Internet. She had a few black trash bags full of clothes and 87 cents in her pocket. This once-successful project manager who took clients out for three hundred dollar dinners every week was now virtually homeless and completely broke. Today, Jenny has a radiant business and illuminates the lives of others by teaching them how to change their world through their words.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Julie Daley did it. She became a mother at 17 and a widow at 38. She graduated from college at 45. And she began to write and dance only after she was 45. Now Julie is a breathtaking dancer, writer and a guide to women who are ready to give birth to their new consciousness.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Heather Plett did it. She experienced rape, the death of her son, the mental illness and multiple suicide attempts of a loved one, the killing of her dad in a farming accident, and quitting her secure high-paying government job. Now she compassionately and successfully guides women on the path through chaos to creativity.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Jennifer Ogusola did it. After being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, journalist Jennifer transformed the message of her disease into her dream business of hand-made journals. Today she has a thriving business that also feeds her soul.

YOU CAN DO IT!

LaVonne Ellis did it. She let go of anything that didn’t nourish her heart anymore and chose to give birth to her dream project through collecting the life stories of real people. Now she writes and shares true stories with a burst of flavor on her own online magazine.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Jackie Walker did it. She went through divorce, loss, alienation, and bankruptcy. And yet, anyone who knows her agrees that she is the ultimate symbol of unconditional love, hope and joy. She radiates her world. And recently, she has started The Mothering Revolution.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Alison Gresik did it. She battled severe depression, but she didn’t give up writing. In 2011, she embarked on an open-ended trip around the world with her family. Since then, she has written her memoir and even raised the money needed to self-publish it through a successful crowdfunding campaign.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Susannah Conway did it. One day in 2005, the man she loved died very suddenly from a heart attack. She didn’t even have the chance to bid him farewell. As Susannah moved through the stages of grief, she dove into photography and writing, which helped her unravel and heal herself layer by layer. Now she helps other women transform their lives through her workshops and books.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Jen Louden did it. She is not only the “comfort queen” who wrote multiple best-sellers and was on Oprah, but she is also the “depression warrior queen” as she has dealt with depression most of her life. In spite of all the crazy, heart-wrenching things she went through, today Jen is the icon of self-care and self-compassion as well as a true example of selfless devotion and service.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Sandi Amorim did it. A sad event brought her face-to-face with the naked truth: she could no longer take life for granted. Since then, she has been on a mission to obliterate “someday thinking” from the face of Earth. Along that journey, she has positively influenced and genuinely helped other fiery women.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Meg Worden did it. At one time, Meg’s life got so out of control that she found herself in an unsustainable and sinking relationship while epically self-medicating and selling ecstasy pills for a living. What’s more, she ended up incarcerated in federal prison. Today, Meg is an esteemed nutrition coach who teaches women how to radiate from the inside out. She’s also writing her memoir.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Brigitte Pilloud did it. She left corporate America after 15 years of progressive employment in strategic marketing and product development. She was totally burned out. Now Bridget is an intuitive guide, a healer and an energy shifter. She loves to prosper and never gets tired of reminding other women that they were born to prosper as well.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Kris Carr did it. She got cancer and decided to call it sexy. She didn’t listen to the naysayers who said one couldn’t talk about cancer being crazy sexy. Against all odds, Kris built her crazy sexy empire, leading the way to finding health and fulfillment at the same time.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Ronna Detrick did it. Ronna used to struggle to find God in her own life. Her ability to believe, to have faith and hope were waning away when she decided to take her faith in her own hands and look into the depths of her soul. Today, God speaks to Ronna when she writes. And she leads provocative conversations on God and women in her sacred community.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Lianne Raymond did it. She lost her mother as a child, married her high school sweetheart, lost her baby, became a teacher, almost got divorced but restored her relationship. And along the way, she became a life coach while still teaching high school psychology. Today Lianne informs, inspires, and nourishes women on their journey and shows them the way that leads to living with wild abandon.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Andrea Olson did it. As the queen of multipotentialites, Andrea refused to choose one thing. Instead, she tried a multitude of things at the risk of being labeled as a rebel and a dreamer. She became a lawyer, a realtor, an economic development professional, a college administrator, and a few other things in between. Now she helps other women craft a new story, one full of infinite possibility.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Yael Daphna Saar did it. Yael’s mother killed herself when she lost her fight with postpartum depression. Yael was six-years-old. Later, Yael suffered from postpartum depression too. Three times! Today, she’s on a mission to liberate mothers from their postpartum demons by disarming guilt and teaching self-kindness.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Lee Brochstein did it. She went through divorce three times. Her life was shattered thrice. But she’s not sorry. Because now she’s teaching women that there is life, hope and “a better you” after divorce.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Tamara Holland did it. Post-conviction death penalty lawyer Tamara figured out that what she and the world really needed were more enthusiasm, color, whimsy, and creativity. Her children were grown up and out on their own, so she took courage and started her creative greeting card business. Recently, she made an agreement with a major greeting card distributor that will produce and sell her cards nationwide.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Nina Yau did it. After completing business school and well into a standard corporate life, Nina chose to leave the 9-to-5 lifestyle and buy a one-way ticket in order to lead a life suited to her truth. Nina’s first official print book will be releasing on August 1.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Jennifer Boykin did it. Jennifer held her baby girl while she died. However, she chose not to honor her dead child by becoming a martyr to her memory. Instead, she honored her girl by allowing her to become a chapter in an otherwise very long and beautiful unfolding story. Now Jennifer is the midlife midwife to women, whom she encourages to take responsibility to reinvent their lives at midlife and beyond.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Anna Guest-Jelley did it. She struggled with low self-esteem, warped body image and dizzying migraines. She had been on 65 diets. She starved, binged, broke down, and wept. She also experienced death, loss and unspeakable grief. When she hunted for community, she found echoes and misunderstanding. One day she turned to yoga, but she was told she was too fat to do it. So Anna started the Curvy Yoga movement, wrote the book of curves, and today she inspires women all over the world.

YOU CAN DO IT!

Jen Vertanen did it. She used to hate her career, resent her life and battle depression. She felt like a mess. Today, she’s on a mission to help women craft a wholehearted life through sharing stories and creating everyday adventures.

YOU CAN DO IT!

I did it. I went through a draining marriage and an exhausting divorce. I experienced dire conditions as a single mom and worked at a day job while doing non-stop freelance work in any free time I had left. Sleeping three hours a day had become my routine. At the end of 2010, I moved with my son to the States to be with the love of my life and left behind everything I had without blinking an eye. In a little more than a year, I built a strong network and a successful business in a foreign country and in a language that is not my mother tongue. By the way, I did all of that as a hard-core introvert. Nowadays, I hold intimate conversations with gutsy women about mindful living and sustainable business.

And you can do it too!

Nothing is unrealistic when you believe you can do it.

We all have stories. We all have wounds. We all have scars.

But that doesn’t mean we are broken. We are alive and kicking.

It is through your story, your wounds and scars, gutsy sister, that you have all the power and potential to understand, transform, create, and heal – to bring about change and make a difference in the world.

You have all the wisdom, riches and colors to craft and live your life on your own terms.

You, gutsy woman!

You are fertile with ideas, dreams and your creative creed.

Remember this:

If you can imagine it, you can do it.

If you can visualize it, you can do it.

If you can desire it, you can do it.

You are a seedpod of awesome possibilities. Allow yourself to burst open!

Now go do it! What are you waiting for?

You already have everything you need!

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Cigdem Kobu is a business growth coach and catalyst who believes business is fun when it nourishes your heart first. She holds visionary conversations with gutsy, creative women about mindful living and sustainable business. And she leads a private circle of cohorts where women solopreneurs learn, create and prosper together. Cigdem is also the curator of A Year With Myself, the most comprehensive program for women who are ready to change their lives from the inside out. Follow Cigdem on Twitter @CigdemKobu and Facebook and sign up for her weekly Wicked Awesome Life newsletter.

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