Uniquity. Heard of it? Neither had I until a sweet message reached me asking if I would write about it in celebration of a book launch.
Of course I said yes.
Because I do believe that being unique – being the embodied you – is absolutely, incredibly beautiful.
And any book that can help you step closer to owning that reality is definitely worth celebrating.The Declaration of You will be published this summer by North Light Craft Books and this post is part of The Declaration of You’s BlogLovin’ Tour, which I am delighted to participate in with over 100 other bloggers. Learn more by clicking here.
So, back to uniquity.
In case you are wondering, uniquity is a made-up word that describes … well, a state of being unique. Uniquely you.
As someone who has worked hard to embrace her multitudes (all my unique desires and ways of showing up the world), I know how important (and hard) it is to own those aspects of yourself even when others might think you are the tiniest bit wacky. I also know that this doesn’t happen, and hasn’t happened, all at once. It’s been discussed over cups of tea and glasses of wine. Pondered while commuting in killer traffic. Journaled about while sitting in bed with my morning coffee.
In fact, it’s happening right now as I write.
Embracing my uniqueness is a daily commitment.
I could easily talk about the pleasures of being unique. The delicious “highs” that float our spirits when we appreciate and revel in what makes us special. The bold power that comes from acting in alignment with our “self-ness.” The inner strength that builds when we accept who and what we are all about.
All of these I know to be true.
But that may not be the conversation that really needs to take place. The one that needs to happen is slightly less glamorous.
It’s the one about what it really means to have unique attributes, special qualities, and distinctive desires that make you stand out and earn that oh-so-interesting label – different.
She talks with an accent, walks with knocked knees, wears hats every day, shrugs her shoulders involuntarily, eats ice cream for dinner, chooses to be single, collects mugs, lives with her parents, obsesses over reality TV, finds joy in back yard farming, does mathematical equations in her head, dreams of becoming a rodeo queen ….
She could be the the woman who pours your espresso, teaches your child, leads your company, picks up your mail, or writes the blog posts you read.
She could be you or me.
Different is another word for unique. But it doesn’t sound quite as flattering. It calls us out in ways that might not feel so good.
I get that.
I have been asked, explicitly and implicitly, to change stories about my life – because my approach was just too different and didn’t fit the norm.
I have been asked, explicitly and implicitly, to adjust how I do things – because my way of showing up in the world was just too different and made others uncomfortable.
I have been asked, explicitly and implicitly, to downplay my special expertise – because my knowledge was just too different and would “out-shine” someone else.
My very uniqueness was held against me.
Sometimes, I even held it against myself.
Disowning your uniqueness is the tendency and temptation when you don’t necessarily love the things that make you different and couldn’t change them even if you wanted to. When you wish you could be like everyone else. When you wish your body-job-relationships-family-dreams-house-habits-life could just be normal.
But then, you (and I) have to ask ourselves, where would we be if we were normal?
Definitely not so different, interesting, or unique. And, definitely not so you (or me).
Make a commitment to embrace your uniqueness. Declare your uniquity daily – even on the days it feels hard or not-so-good – because one of these days, it will feel great.