How to Flirt Your Way to Success


in Personal Growth

If you are single, or even vaguely remember your dating days, you are probably well-acquainted with the art of flirtation. The alluring, playful behavior that alerts you when someone finds you interesting, intriguing, or attractive. Little words. Little glances. A wink. A sexy smile. The causal touch. All designed to send you a message.

Hello. I’m here. I like you.

If you are looking for a connection with another person, you are open to these messages. You notice them. You respond. You play. You enjoy. You follow the trail to see where it may lead.

You flirt back.

In some ways, life is the consummate flirt. Sending you messages constantly, it winks at you with alluring tidbits of opportunity, special glances of strange coincidences, and touches of unexpected conversation.

Hello. I’m here. I like you.

If life doesn’t seem to be flirting with you right now, you have to wonder if you have forgotten how it works. You have to ask yourself, how good at flirting are you? Because, my friends, flirting is a two-way street. It takes two to make real sparks fly.

Most of us have goals in our lives. To do this and achieve that. Some of us write them down, complete with timetables. Others of us just take note of them in our mental archives. We focus, buckle down, and drive towards these goals.

But, what if there were another approach? What if we held our goals loosely? What if we flirted a bit with what life throws our way? Might we be just as successful?

If you want to flirt with life, start with these small steps:

Extend the invitation by letting people (life) know that you are open to seeing, doing, and experiencing new things; just like you would ask your friends if they know any single people.

Notice what crosses your path on a daily basis- actually see it – and not be so focused on what you think want that you miss out on what’s right in front of you. You wouldn’t want to overlook the gorgeous dark-haired guy or gal just because you’ve fixated on a blonde, right?

Be willing to engage and explore when something interesting does come your way. I’m not suggesting abandoning everything or wasting tons of time, but you do need to check things out just enough to see if there’s any chemistry. Back to that dark-haired person … how would you know what he or she has to offer if you don’t talk to them?

Be playful in your exchanges because flirting is about being light-hearted and appealing. If you are totally serious, you won’t be a bit sexy. And, sexy is where the fun is and the magic happens.

If you are still struggling after all of this, I have one piece of advice:  find a wingman in the form of a friend, mentor, or coach. A wingman’s job is to be your partner in fun, to see opportunities where you don’t, and to help you make connections. With a wingman at your side, you can take flirting to a whole new level.

What if flirting with life was a path to success? I kind of like a path that is sexy and fun and full of good surprises. Don’t you?

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Angie December 15, 2010 at

Thank you for reminding me of this! SO looking forward to playing with it and seeing what opens up. And what better time than the holidays and New Year?


Andrea December 15, 2010 at

Have fun, Angie! Hope something delicious opens up for you.


Dyana Valentine December 15, 2010 at

looooove it! I like to flirt with ideas and people. It gives a playfulness to work and a zing to interactions. There is so much beauty in the simplicity of flirting–and it gives air to the often agenda-laden positioning of committing to something in a more complex way: assessing, saying yeah or nay. Great reminder.


Andrea December 15, 2010 at

Thanks, Dyana! It’s amazing what a little flirting can do. We tend to get so serious about our “stuff” and forget that it doesn’t have to be so hard. Glad you liked it!


Ronna December 15, 2010 at

Brilliant. Gorgeous. Playful. Perfect. You. And flirting with MANY conversations we’ve had these past months. Grateful, Andrea.
Ronna recently posted..Hardly too much More than enough Or eat apples boldly- talk to snakes and tell a different story


Andrea December 15, 2010 at

So grateful for you… you’re a pretty good wingman. ;-)


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