Negotiating Your Personal Consent Agreement


in Happiness,Personal Growth

In the past few days, the phrase “get out of your own way” has been circulating in my conversations. I have been both the recipient of these words as well as the one blessing others with their wisdom.

Although the contexts differ, the message is clear in each case:  sometimes, we alone are the biggest obstacle to achieving our stated dreams and desires.

We don’t mean to be, but let’s face it, it happens. We worry about  whether we have the right to try something, the right to do something, the right to risk something. We wonder whether we actually deserve the goodness we imagine. We obsess over whether our kids/dog/dad/kindergarten teacher would approve of our choices.

We stand in our own way.

I think it’s time to put an end to that behavior and sanction our choices with a degree of formality, so that we know we mean business.

I propose that we craft an agreement with ourselves – one in which we consent to our wildest dreams.

In the world of law, parties to a legal proceeding can enter into something called a consent agreement. That agreement usually involves one party agreeing to cease certain activities.

We are going to craft a different kind of consent agreement. One in which we give ourselves permission to start DOING something. To grab our dreams and possibilities and see what we can make of them.

So print out this agreement and fill in the blanks. Put it on your refrigerator or anywhere else that you will be able to see it and remind yourself that you have permission from the supreme grantor of authority – YOU – to go, seek, and do.

Consent Agreement for ________________________________________

Whereas, I have a multitude of amazing and delicious possibilities;

Whereas, I have a particularly lovely possibility to_______________________________________________________________ that I would like to explore or make a reality;

Whereas, I have a tendency to think I can’t do it, that it won’t happen, that it’s too late for me, that my ____________________________ (put in whoever you think might object) won’t approve of my choices;

Whereas, I acknowledge and agree that I deserve a wealth of wonderful goodness in my life;

Whereas, I know I have the right to change my mind at any time and try something different if I want to;

NOW THEREFORE, I consent and agree to:

1.  Give myself permission to _______________________________________________________________________________ (whatever dream, possibility, or opportunity that currently intrigues you).

2.  Do at least one thing each day that moves me closer to seeing it become a reality.

3.  Get out of my own way and allow for good things to find me.

4.  Be gentle and kind to myself as I stretch and grow.

5.  Have fun and enjoy the journey because I know that’s the whole point.




Feel free to enhance your agreement with anything else that you need or want to include. It is your consent agreement – make it personal.

I would love to know what this exercise triggers for you. Comment or drop me a note!

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Ronna October 13, 2011 at

OK, seriously!?! This is brilliant! I’m printing it out right now.
Ronna recently posted..Gestation. Labor. Delivery.


Andrea Olson October 13, 2011 at

Sweet! There’s nothing like putting something in writing to make it real. I am glad you like it. :)


Janeen October 16, 2011 at

Ok, this is AMAZING…I’ve printed it off…
thank you for encouraging me (us your readers) with this. At times it can be so hard to live your dreams…
I particularly appreciate point #2 – Do at least one thing each day that moves me closer to seeing it become a reality.
In the past few weeks, I’ve realized that this is something I need to be more purposeful about doing. Your post has now given me the push I need to do so…
so as always thank you, thank you wonderful Andrea :)


Andrea Olson October 16, 2011 at

Thanks, Janeen! Being purposeful about our dreams is so important … and, the one thing each day doesn’t have to be a big thing. It could be as simple as gathering information about a place we want to visit. So happy this post found you at the right time!!


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