No Regrets – A Guest Post from Ronna Detrick

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in Personal Growth

You may have seen the poster in the side bar on my site that contains a number of phrases. It is my manifesto for amultitudeofthings. Each phrase describes the way I have chosen to live my life and how I would invite you to live yours. This summer, I’ve asked my friends to adopt a phrase of their choosing and to write about it so that we may all be reminded and inspired. First up is my dear friend, Ronna. Enjoy!

Andrea’s poster is pinned to a bulletin board in my kitchen. It’s been there a while so I don’t always notice it; sort of a fixture in the room now. But when my eye does catch on the page, the blue and black ink, the varying font sizes, I almost always see the same two words: No Regrets.

And I wince a bit because I’m pretty sure she included them just to provoke me.

My life was filled with regrets.

Choices made. Far more not made. Miscalculated risks. Uncalculated risks. Not risking enough. Words spoken. Far more, unsaid. Feelings expressed. Far more withheld. The list goes on and on. It was pretty overwhelming, depressing, and dark.

Maybe it’s because I’m older (and hopefully a little wiser), but I don’t live with much regret anymore. Frankly, I don’t have the time, energy, or patience for it! It doesn’t serve in any way at all. It is a looking back and wishing things were different. It is a looking back and bemoaning what didn’t happen…or did. It is a looking back. Past tense.

Now, I’m all for good reflection, learning from mistakes, and paying attention to patterns in order to move forward in healthy, strong, and informed ways. But regret is none of these.

Regret is a stuck-place, a spinning-place, a hell, really. It is not where I want to be.

I want to move, to stride, to step forward into and through oft’ hard lessons; each inviting me to new levels of strength and tenderness, capacity and courage, truth and vulnerability. And most of the time, these days, I do. Present tense.

Here’s what’s true: we are amazing beings with vast and endless capacity to change, to learn, to grow. So make choices. Take risks. Say what you want to say. Feel what you really feel. No matter how raw, how choppy, and sometimes even ungraceful and hard it might be.

No regrets. Just opportunity. Future tense.

I’m still pretty sure Andrea put those words on her poster to taunt me. Or maybe she put them there to remind me of just how far I’ve come; to remind me that more is yet ahead. Mmmmm. Thanks, Andrea.

Ronna Detrick loves nothing more than having provocative conversations about God and women. She realizes this is an oft’ taboo topic which, quite frankly, makes her want to talk and write about it even more! She’s been blogging for over seven years, providing Spiritual Direction even longer, and figuring out what it means to live someplace between faith and doubt for as long as she can remember. Subscribe to her epistles, occasional revelations, and sacred writ. Get to know Eve (one of her very favorite stories) in brand new and desire-filled ways. Join her for Sunday Services or Soulstice. Lots of rich, sacred community – for you.

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Jackie Walker July 6, 2012 at

I found driving while using the rear view mirror not only dangerous but as you say, it became a wheel spinning place as I couldn’t see to go forward, so I was stuck where I was. Love the summing up “… to remind me of just how far I’ve come; to remind me that more is yet ahead.”
Jackie Walker recently posted..Everytime you use should, think of Sisyphus


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