The Energy of Asking


in Happiness,Personal Growth

With the magic of the New Year in the offing, now is a good time to begin reflecting on what has worked for you this year and what hasn’t. What you have asked for and received. And, even more importantly, what you haven’t asked for.

I am big on asking for things. I call it “making the ask.” Right now, I’m asking for a lot of things – of many people, on many levels. Requests to do guest posts. Requests for meetings with busy, influential people. Requests for contributions to my forthcoming E-book – How to Change Your Livelihood: An Ordinary Person’s Guide to a Multitude of Good Things.

My asks are being met with positive response, for which I am profoundly grateful. And, yet, I have noticed something interesting.

It takes just as much energy to ask for the wrong thing as it does for the right thing.

What do I mean by that? I mean that sometimes we only ask for what we think we can get or for the thing we think we are supposed to want.

It takes just as much energy and effort to ask for:

  • A $1,000 when what you really want is $10,000.
  • A small raise when what you really want is a promotion.
  • A week’s vacation when what you really want is three weeks off.
  • A job when you what you really want is a contract for the work.
  • A writing assignment when what you really want is a book deal.
  • A loan from a bank when what you really want is a partner.

We all do this to varying degrees. Perhaps because we are afraid of having our hopes dashed. Perhaps because it seems easier in the short-term. Yet, we still make the ask. Even though we know, deep down, that it is not what we really want. We squander our precious energy in pursuit of the unwanted.

How do you want to spend your energy? Asking for what you want? Or asking for what you don’t want?

Ask wisely. Comment. Subscribe.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Ronna December 9, 2010 at

Brilliant, Andrea. Has me thinking about where (or if) I ask in the first place and then where I second-guess or diminish both my desire and my deserving. Thank you.
Ronna recently posted..The Middle Spaces


Andrea December 9, 2010 at

Desire and deserving … that is it exactly! Why not put our effort into what we desire and deserve?


Lorrie Jones November 8, 2011 at

Thank you, Andrea! Your words have helped me recognize my tendency to withhold “asking” because deep down, I have believed (until now) that I didn’t deserve to receive what I truly want. So I’m going for the gold – and I thank you for being my inspiration for shifting my perspective and changing my action.


Andrea Olson November 8, 2011 at

How lovely, Lorrie! I’m so glad this post has encouraged you to make the ask. You deserve it!


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